When its rains
by msmhtp
Summary: Is Arthur ready to forgive Merlin and what he will do when everything seems to go even worse? bromance,whump. no slash. set after s4.
1. Prologue

When you usually wake up in the morning, you may soon know if it is good or bad day to come. Like if Merlin was late, the breakfast was half-burned or Guinevere was mad some of what he had blurted out night before and now she refused to speak to him. Yes, that would be a bad day. Or like Merlin was actually remembered to do his job as his secretary, Gwaine wasn't hung-over on the training ground and Guinevere was promised to do some of his job that day. Oh, that would be a splendid day. Never happened though, but you can always wish.

But then there was days when it started like a bad day, forebodings hanging in the air all the morning and then, surprise, it finally was a good day.

And then, there was the other way. How the good day would turn to bad day. And it happened too often, but today, it came more than bad day.

Arthur looked Merlin, then Gwaine. Both of them were covered with blood and dirt. They smelled. Badly. He looked the half destroyed great hall.

"I'm curious, please, you can speak freely." There was hint of sarcasm on his tone. Merlin moved nervously and glanced at Gwaine. Gwaine looked the great hall and the people.

"I said…" Arthur started.

"It was an accident." Gwaine said quickly, instantly regretting his choice of words when he watched how Arthur's face went blank. Gwen shook her head fast, warningly. Gwaine looked Merlin.

"Maybe you should tell him." Gwaine muttered.

"Are you insane? He will kill me." Merlin hissed back.

"And why Merlin, I would kill you?" Arthur asked icily and Merlin jumped and swallowed, trying to find the right words. Gwaine chose to watch his dirty boots.

"Can we speak more like, privately?" Merlin asked, hoping.

"No. We speak here and now, that everyone can hear your excuses."

The whole audience, including half of the Camelot's knights, visiting queen Annis and lot and lot of nobles and servants, hold their breath.

"We are in so deep in sh..." Gwaine mumbled and Merlin poked him on the side.

"Maybe if you start from the beginning." Gwen suggested kindly. Merlin looked nervously her, then Arthur and again Gwaine who nodded.

"You have to tell him." Gwaine sighed and Merlin looked like he wanted to run and fast. "And I call you my friend."

"I'm. So is he." Gwaine nodded toward Arthur who frowned. Merlin hesitated, avoiding Arthur's gaze. He looked Gwen.

"Alright. But first, Gwen… My Queen."

That made Gwen startled. Merlin never called her his queen. They were friends.

"I want that while I tell what happened, no one do anything toward me or Gwaine. And after, you just let me go."

They stared each others.

"I promise." Gwen said finally, curious and afraid to hear what was happened.

"Guine…"

Gwen's eyes stopped him.

"He asked me, not you Arthur. And by your own hand, I'm the queen of Camelot. Remember that. And I don't want that you go and kill him." In Gwen's voice was steel. Now everyone who was present startled.

And Arthur never could say no to his wife so he nodded his agreement.

"This has to be very good explanation." Arthur said and sat back to his chair which George was hoisted up again.

"Right." Merlin sighed, his eyes seeking Gaius.

Gaius who watched him with concern, but who also nodded his agreement.

"Right." Merlin repeated. "It started two days ago…"

* * *

_**English isn't my language, but this will be betaed someday.**_


	2. When the witch comes back

"_It started two days ago, when the rain begun…."_

"I just can't believe this." Gwaine watched the sky what was darkening and fast. Also Merlin observed the sky with disappointment. They were no longer than two-day journey from Camelot. Until now the sky had been on their side and the sun was shine all the way. "We have to look for some shelter." His voice was drowned by thunder's peal. "And fast."

"I think that near was some abandoned hut." Gwaine said and his horse jumped when the light split the sky and the rain started.

"Lead the way." Merlin said when Gwaine finally got hold his horse. Half hour later they finally saw the hut. It was partly in ruins, but offered to them the necessary shelter against the rain and cold. They got the horses inside and Merlin started to make fire in the small fireplace.

"Luckily here are some dry woods." He grinned when Gwaine took off the gears from the horses.

"I buy some wine from the last inn. I think it's a good time to taste it. The maid said it is really good." Gwaine dug one of his bags.

"Wine? Really? When you managed to shop?" Merlin laughed and started to search if there were any cups.

"Found it. Ah, but first I want these wet clothes off. The fire seems nice. Oh, you found some cups too." Gwaine was delighted and Merlin started to take off his wet clothes.

"Is there any dry clothes Gwaine?" Merlin asked but didn't have any answer. He turned to see his friend who just stood in place and looked stunned.

"Merlin."

"Yeah?"

"I can't move." Gwaine said.

"What?" Merlin watched how Gwaine tried to walk but couldn't lift his foot up. Merlin started to walk toward the knight when he felt like something was captured his ankle and he almost fell over. Some kind of force locked his feet on the floor.

"You too?" Gwaine asked and Merlin nodded. "I can't move my feet."

"Magic?" Gwaine suggested and again Merlin nodded. "I think so."

"What we do? We can't stay like this forever. You always know something when it comes to magic." Gwaine looked him hopefully and Merlin grimaced. He looked around but couldn't see anything which could hint to him what was going on. Before he could thing anything else, the door, what was definitely been locked, opened.

"And what we have here? You walked straight into the trap. Although the trap wasn't meant to you two. But, you can't always get what you want."

"You should know that better than anyone else, Morgana." Merlin hissed. He was surprised to see that the witch was actually alive and seemed to be well.

Morgana walked front of Merlin and touched his cold pale skin. "You have a big scar. Just over the heart. I think you're luckier than I though. What happened to you?"

"It's none of your business." Merlin snapped and Morgana shrugged her shoulders. "And I don't really even care. Last time you were dying when you visited me." Morgana leaned forward and her lips touched lightly Merlin's cheek. Merlin tried to retreat, but couldn't move.

"Could you just go over this and do what ever you are going to do." Gwaine snapped. "Are you going to kill us or what?"

Morgana turned to see the knight.

"Oh, still so lively. And the answer your question; I think that I just leave you two in here. No one can find you in here. You can't move, you can't do anything. You have been lucky Merlin, but I don't think you can go against this magic." Morgana smiled at Merlin who felt colt shivers running through his back.

"What is this Morgana? What have you done?"

"Like I tell anything to you!" Morgana's hand rose and hit across the Merlin's face. He fell and slumped on the ground. When he tried to get up, he couldn't. Morgana watched how he struggled.

"No, your time in Camelot is over. Now, die here with this foolish knight. Curse your misery life and die without food or water." Morgana laughed. "I couldn't even though about this. My lucky day."

"Morgana…" Gwaine tried to move toward the witch.

"No, my dear knight. You both die here. After that I send the message to my dear brother, if he isn't already dead by then." Morgana pouted her lips.

"You are planning something." Merlin noted. Morgana smiled.

"Yes, yes I'm. And this time you can't stop me. Because of you, and Arthur and my cursed father, I lost everything."

"You made your own choices. I tried to help you, but you…"

Merlin couldn't avoid the kick what hit him on the side.

"Morgana!" Gwaine roared and watched how the witch continued to kick Merlin.

"You? Helping me? You tried to kill me!" Morgana screamed and her kick hit on Merlin's face.

"Merlin!" Gwaine watched with horror how the blood coloured the floor. Another kick and Gwaine heard like something was broken.

"Stop! Please!"

Morgana stopped and turned to Gwaine's side, walking front of him.

"Please? Please, you say?"

"Let us go Morgana."

"No."

"Then let us be. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"

Morgana looked over her shoulder immobile Merlin.

"Yes, I got what I wanted. Good luck to you Gwaine, though I don't think that you have any luck left."

Morgana passed him and Gwaine stared after her.

"Morgana, I will kill you."

Morgana stopped, watched at him the last time and smiled.

"You can always hope so."

Then she was gone, like she had never even been there. Gwaine stared the door.

"This have to be some kind of joke. Merlin? Merlin! MERLIN!"

But Merlin couldn't answer.


	3. When the truth comes out

"_MERLIN!"_

The pain was the worst what he had gone through in long time.

"_Merlin, please, just say something!"_

He couldn't feel anything but pain.

"_Please, move, move your finger, please. Show me that you are alive."_

Everything was so heavy; even his fingers. He tried to open his eyes. It hurt. It hurt too much. He drifted in and out.

"_I kill her, I will kill her. Even if I have to cut my feet that I can get out of here, I will kill her."_

The voice was so full of anger. He couldn't understand it. What was wrong? He drifted away again.

"_Merlin, please, Merlin, Merlin…"_

Wasn't he angry anymore? Who was it? Was he crying?

"Dn-t cr—y."

Silence.

"Merlin? Merlin, you are awake? Please say you are awake and alive."

"Don't cry." Merlin whispered. It was difficult to speak. He tasted iron.

"No, I don't cry. I never cry ever again if you are alive."

He couldn't move. "Feel, heavy."

"Yes, the spell, Morgana's trap."

"Mor-ga-na?" Merlin repeated the name. He felt himself sad when he said the name. Morgana. The Witch.

"She kicked you in the head. Gods, you are not alright Merlin."

_My name; Merlin. I'm Merlin. Right, I remember that. _

"I don't know how much you lost blood. And you have concussion, I'm sure of it. Maybe you shouldn't move." Laughing. "Though we can't move."

"The spell." Merlin remembered. "Morgana. The rain. Gwaine?"

"Yes, Gwaine. You have been out of cold more than five hour my friend."

"Cold. Heavy." Merlin tried to move his hands and fingers.

"You managed to strip out of your wet clothes before Morgana came. And the fire is already faded. The rain is still going on. Even I feel cold." Gwaine told him, his voice shivering a bit.

"Morgana, she is planning something." Merlin's fingers moved a bit. _Good_. Carefully he opened his eyes. "I can't see with my other eye."

Silence. Again. Not good.

"Your other side of face is covered with blood Merlin."

"Oh." Merlin wasn't sure was he relieved or not. It could mean anything.

"Can you move your feet?"

He tried.

"Good. You have to try to get up from that cold floor Merlin."

"Dizzy."

"Try to handle it. Can you rise?"

_No. Maybe. No. _"Yes?" Merlin hesitated.

"You can. You are one of the toughest guys what I have met."

"You don't know half of it." Merlin sighed staring the floor with his one eye.

_Rise. Rise. You have to rise or you will die._

"Thank gods, you can do it!" Gwaine encouraged him when he watched how Merlin moved his arms and legs. "Up, get up, please."

"Stop repeating that." Merlin was irritated.

"Repeating what?"

"_Please_. It's not _you_." Merlin was managed to rise on all fours.

"I'm just too worried by now. And relieved that you are alive." Gwaine sighed. "Does it hurt?"

"Tell me where it doesn't hurt." Merlin grimaced. "What kind of spell she did? How we can't move out of our place?"

"You are the smart one, tell me." Gwaine muttered. He observed Merlin's torso. It was bruised all over. The blood seemed to come mostly from the wound in the forehead. Some maybe from the nose. He hoped that Merlin's teeth were alright and he couldn't but think what was gone broke when he had heard the sound.

"I read it once." Merlin said.

"Read what?"

"The spell. Revealing spell." Merlin told. To Gwaine, Merlin looked like he was still ready to collapse again anytime soon.

"Spell? What are you talking about?"

But Merlin didn't answer. He got on his knees and looked around. "There have to be something, something what hold us in here. She's using something enchanted object. If I can see it, if I can move it or destroy it…"

"You know how we can get out of here?" Gwaine was genially surprised.

"Something which I can draw. The spell. If I remember the pattern."

"What are you talking? Merlin? Can you please explain what a hell you are doing?" Gwaine demanded to know but Merlin didn't listened him. Merlin rubbed his forehead's wound.

"Blood. That will do." And again the blood started to flow down his face. Merlin rubbed his hand in his own blood and then started to draw on the floor. Gwaine watched his doing and he started to understand.

"Merlin…"

"Shh. I have to do this right. If I do this wrong…"

"Then what?"

"I actually don't know. Maybe nothing. Maybe…" Merlin continued and then looked his work estimating. "That will do. I hope."

"You hope? Merlin…" Gwaine wanted to back off, but he was still glued on the floor. Merlin placed his hand over the odd circle and muttered something. Nothing happened. Gwaine sighed with relief. But then he noticed the light. Tiny, very tiny blue light in the corner.

"On your left side Merlin."

Merlin turned his head.

"Oh! It is the lookstone. Morgana can use it as her eyes, ears and mouth. If she know how. Those are rare things, and you usually make the deal with the Grey King that you can use those. I can only hope that Morgana is only using it as a trap, to make everyone outsider who come here, to not capable to move.

"Merlin…" Gwaine wasn't sure that this half naked pale skinny man who was his dearest friend knew what he was talking about.

"But I can break its charm."

"Can you?"

Merlin raised his hand toward the stone. When he grinned his face chanced. Because the blood what was like a mask over his face, he looked like he was finally snapped.

"Now that I know what it is, I just have to break it." And he closed his hand in fist. At that moment the stone blow up with a loud bang and for a moment the white light blinded Gwaine. And then he felt how he was free again and he opened his eyes.

"Gwaine…" Merlin started but halted and suddenly he looked so old. Finally Gwaine got his voice back.

"You have magic."

#

"_You have magic…"_

"You have magic?" Arthur stood up, watching his friend with disbelief. Merlin was looking down, but he was standing tall.

"Look at me!" Arthur demanded and Merlin's eyes met him.

"You promised. You will listen what we have to tell you." Merlin reminded him. Arthur shook his head. Was this his really his friend? He surely looked like Merlin, it isn't even odd that he was dirty and half beaten, but something in his eyes was different.

"Let them continue Arthur." Gwen whispered. "I want to know."

Arthur just stared Merlin who stared back and everyone around those two could feel the power what surrounded them.

"Arthur." Gwen called him and finally Arthur was able to remove his gaze off and backed. His voice was cold when he spoke.

"Then, continue, because I really want to know _everything_."

Gwaine grinned at Merlin.

"Not bad. I though that he would take his sword and run it through you."

"Shut up Gwaine." Merlin sighed and his mind drifted back to their adventure. "It was early night…"


	4. When Gwaine get some answers

"_It was early night when we got ourselves free…"_

Merlin swayed and Gwaine rushed to catch him. Merlin struggled to stand and sounded hysterical.

"We have to go. We have to stop her. She goes after Arthur again. I have to be there. I have to…"

Gwaine interrupted him, "You don't do anything before I clean you up. You have concussion if I can say anything by just looking you. You can't even stand. Sit. I light up the fire again. But Merlin, does Morgana notice that you destroyed the stone?"

"I don't know, not for sure." Merlin sobered. "And now she has hours ahead of us." Merlin grabbed Gwaine's hand. "We have to go, soon."

"Soon Merlin, I promise. Merlin, can you… can you heal yourself?" Gwaine hesitated to ask but he noticed now that Merlin didn't actually realized that he was revealed his magic to someone else. Although it was Gwaine.

"Healing magic, I'm not so good with it." Merlin shook his head.

"Then what kind of magic you are good?" Gwaine started to light the fire.

"I fight. I do tricks. Do you know how many times I have saved Arthur's sorry arse?" Merlin's eye started to close.

Gwaine glanced at him and grinned. "Really?"

"Really. I fight; I fight for him and sake of the future of this land. And I have lost so much." Merlin's voice quiet down. Gwaine took one of the blankets and wrapped its around Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin, do you hear me? Look at me. Merlin." Gwaine tried to catch an eye contact.

"Tired." Merlin whispered, his eyes almost closed. Gwaine shook him lightly.

"I know. I think you are not alright. I have to clean the wound and you have to rest over the night."

"Can't. Morgana." But Merlin was already lost the battle against the tiredness and Gwaine.

"We come up with something tomorrow." Gwaine promised.

"Tomorrow…"

"I'll watch over you Merlin, I promise."

Merlin's hazy gaze lifted up and watched his friend, "Gwaine?"

"Yes?"

"I have magic."

Silence. Gwaine didn't know if he was going to laugh or cry "I know now. You should have told me sooner."

"Not mad?"

"How I can be. Not ever to you." Gwaine smiled. "Lay and sleep a bit."

"I'm sorry. I'm… monster." Merlin murmured when his eyes closed and Gwaine startled.

"How you can say so? Merlin?"

But Merlin was fallen asleep. Gwaine watched him. A monster? How could he though himself like that? Magic or not, Merlin couldn't be any kind of monster. Gwaine got some water and found some clean rags and started to clean Merlin's face and wound. Carefully he studied if there was any broken bones. Some of the left hand's fingers and maybe one or two ribs were. Gwaine cursed when he tried to bandage Merlin as good as he could. Doing so, he watched Merlin. He was never though about it, though he hadn't ever saw Merlin half naked, that he was so full covered of scars. Mostly small ones, but there was some bigger ones. A normal man would have killed by them, but Merlin, Merlin wasn't normal man.

Gwaine felt tired. When he was sure that Merlin was alright he lay down himself near the fire and closed his eyes. It didn't take much to fall asleep. But he was awake far before Merlin, before the sunrise. He prepared quickly their breakfast of their remaining foods.

"Gwaine?" Merlin's voice was still weak and Gwaine walked beside his bed and touched Merlin's forehead.

"You have a fever Merlin. You are burning up."

"We have to go." Merlin tried to get up but Gwaine pushed him back down. "First let's see your eye Merlin. I'm bit worried about it."

And like Gwaine was guessed, the eye looked dim. It didn't react to light.

"I can't see anything for it." Merlin whispered. Gwaine gnashed his teeth.

"That damn witch."

"I'm sorry."

"Why you are sorry?" Gwaine stood up and walked to catch the food.

"My magic…"

"Have you killed with your magic?" Gwaine asked suddenly.

"Yes I have." Merlin's voice was steady.

"Why?" Gwaine turned to look him. To see how Merlin reacted. But despite his fever, his blind eyes and broken bones, Merlin's gaze was also steady. He looked so sure, so sure from himself when he answered.

"To protect Arthur, sometimes myself, or you and the other knights."

"Whose knows this? Not Morgana I see."

"Gaius, my mother, some druids, some other magic users, two or three. Lancelot knew."

"Lance knew? He knew, and you didn't tell me?" Gwaine was offended, although he knew it was stupid. He picked up the food angrily.

"I never told him anything. He saw me, like you did. And Gaius. Saving your life." Merlin muttered and Gwaine sighed.

"Right. Merlin, listen me carefully. You, and your magic. It doesn't mater to me. It mater that I know you." Gwaine placed his hands over Merlin's shoulders. "But why you didn't tell me?"

"Sorry Gwaine. I should have trusted you earlier. But, I was afraid."

"Afraid of what? That how I would react?"

"No actually." Merlin smiled, but the smile was sad. "It was because everyone who knows me and the truth is in danger. I can't… I couldn't…" Merlin's voice died down, he looked away. Now he looked so broken that it hurt to see. Gwaine stared his friend and then nodded. "Maybe I can understand that reason. Now, eat. And you are right, I hate to admit that, but we have to leave. Even when you are in that state."

"I heal fast." Merlin murmured and Gwaine frowned. "Your magic?"

"Yes. I explain later if you don't mind." Merlin wasn't ready to answer; he was still tired and sick. Probably sicker than what he seemed.

"No, if you promise to answer for my questions."

"I promise."

So they it in silence, but the silence was peaceful. They were still friends, what ever happens. And they both though. Finally Gwaine stood up and walked to lure out of the small window.

"We can never reach her with a ride. And it's still raining." Merlin walked beside of him, limping, and stared out, then he sighed.

"Oh, that's not the problem. The problem is how Kilgharrah is willing to let us both to ride with him. And in this weather."

#

When Arthur now watched Merlin he could see how tired Merlin was. Merlin was beyond exhausted.

"How's your eye now?" Gwen asked, her voice hardly a whisper, but Merlin heard that, and he answered equally quietly.

"I still can't see."

Arthur looked away.

It hurt to know.

It hurt so much that he wanted to run at Merlin, demand him to lay down and let Gaius look after him.

But Arthur was still too proud for that. Instead he asked, "So, who is Kilgharrah?"


	5. When Arthur get more than he wish

They were standing in the rain, Gwaine supporting Merlin.

"What was that?" Gwaine couldn't hide his shaking voice. Merlin swayed a bit, his fever running high. And again they were soaking wet.

"It was a call." Merlin answered, leaning heavily to his friend.

"You have to do that… voice?" Gwaine didn't remembered if he had ever heard anything like that. It wasn't Merlin's own voice, but it still belonged to him. Deep, powerful, commanding tone. "Yes. I have to invite Kilgharrah in his own language. I could send it as a mere though, but when I say it aloud, it is stronger call. And I really want him here quickly."

"This Kilgharrah; who he is? _What_ he is? Or do I really want to know? You said something about riding and that voice of yours…"

"He is here." Merlin looked suddenly up in the sky. Over the pouring rain Gwaine heard it. Wings. And a roar. First time that day Merlin actually smiled.

"A dragon?" Gwaine whispered, his eyes locked onto the magnificent creature what was landing right under their noses.

#

"_A dragon?"_

Arthur jumped up. Wasn't there end of this? "Dragon? You said dragon, didn't you? Dragons are dead! I kill…" Then he suddenly realized it. "You lied to me."

"My obligation toward Kilgharrah went over your command that day. And I needed him. He had helped me… helped you…" Merlin's hand raised to rube his eyes.

"Merlin?" Gaius was on move and Gwaine received Merlin when he suddenly began to crash. He lowered his friend gently to the ground. Arthur couldn't hold it anymore, he run up to his friend, kneeling beside of him. Merlin was so pale, his chest moved rabidly and he was unconscious.

"The fever, it's back." Gwaine said and looked Gaius.

"He did something to himself?" Gaius asked.

"No, Kilgharrah did. But he warned Merlin that this would happen. Before we left, Kilgharrah used his magic to heal him, but he said that if Merlin did not rest, he would not improve properly. And in the middle of all this, Merlin hasn't been able to rest." Gwaine told, eyeing Arthur.

"So it will be harder to him now to pull this right. This isn't good. If Kilgharrah said…" Gaius sighed.

"You knew?" Arthur looked at him and Gaius' eyes met him. "There is something what I should tell."

"You _knew_ this!"

"Yes, because I helped his father to escape those years ago."

Arthur stared the old physician, who looked older than ever, hovering over Merlin.

"You helped his father? Gaius, what are you saying? Merlin told that he never even met his father. And what…"

"Not until you and him rode to find him. When you went after the last Dragon Lord, I told Merlin."

Even Gwaine looked surprised when he heard this.

"The last dragon lord…" Arthur couldn't move; he stared Gaius, then Merlin.

"Maybe we should move him to my chamber and then I can…" Gaius suggested.

"No." Arthur denied. "We hear everything, here, right now, even if he…" Arthur watched Merlin.

"Even if this kill him?" Gwaine asked furiously. Arthur looked him frowning.

"I have to know. I want to know, everyone here want to know the truth. If I don't hear the whole truth, how I can trust him?" And he wanted to trust Merlin. Merlin was his friend. Or was he? He wanted to know. He wanted so badly.

"I see. I need some of my medicines though if we want to keep him alive. Emlyn! Go and…" Gaius started to list what he needed to his new apprentice. Arthur leaned forward, took hold of Merlin's hand.

"You dare to die now Merlin, you dare and I… You not leave me behind, you hear me? I want the truth from you. I want to know that there is reason behind of all this. You said that you have saved me? If that's the truth, even when you have magic… The law Merlin, the law you stupid idiot. You should have told me." Arthur whispered and Gwaine beside of him patted him on the shoulder.

"I know how you feel. Trust me. But it was because the law. He couldn't tell you, because what would you do then? You are the king, Arthur. You are the law of Camelot. And now you have judge him."

"And that's why I want hear it all, when everyone is here." Arthur looked at Gwaine.

"Then maybe I should tell about his father a bit." Gaius said. "And, maybe you have to hear the truth about your own mother."

"My mother?" Arthur didn't understand what Gaius meant.

"If you want the whole truth, we must begin on your mother and what your father you did."

"You are saying…" Arthur remembered the time when he though he had saw his mother's ghost. Gaius nodded.

"What Morgause told then, it was the truth. But maybe I should start from the start. The whole story, even Merlin hadn't heard it all. But the whole story is ample so I just tell it simple." Gaius looked up from Merlin, looked the people around them. "Here still are those who remember the time before magic was outlawed. And here are those who remember Balinor Ambrosius, The Great Dragon Lord who helped Uther to conquer Camelot. The cousin of Ygraine de Bois. You know, it was actually Balinor who first introduced Ygrain to Uther. Balinor loved your mother, but after Ygraine met Uther, Balinor left. Then it became clear that Ygrain couldn't have any children, an heir to the crown. So Uther asked help from Nimueh, the high priestess of Old Religion and Nimueh did what Uther asked but never told what would be the price. And it was your mother's life. Life for life; a very simple rule. Although later it was Nimueh's life what saved yours. But that's the tale what you have to ask from Merlin. And, that day when Uther learned what Nimueh was done, his anger exceeded everything we had experienced. In those days died many innocent. You know these things Arthur. But, then Uther came up a plan to destroy all the dragons and the dragon lords. Balinor wanted to believe that Uther was regretting what he had done so he agreed to help. It was a trap. And then, only Balinor and Kilgharrah were left. Kilgharrah; captured under Camelot, and Balinor; who I helped to escape. He went to Ealdor because I asked my stepsister Hunith to hide him. I though, that out of Camelot Balinor would be safe. But Uther became aware that Balinor was alive, and again Balinor left, not knowing that Hunith would bears his child. After those days I never contact with her properly. I got to know that Hunith had a son, but she never told that Merlin's father was Balinor. We all protect each other, not saying anything. Then Hunith sent Merlin to me. Merlin's magical powers, his inborn strength grew and is still growing. I thought it as impossible, but Merlin, on the first day, before I even saw him, he saved my life here in Camelot. And I realized who Merlin was; who he would be. And Kilgharrah helped Merlin to accept his destiny. Merlin's destiny to help you, Arthur Pendragon, to be a king who would unite the Albion and then Merlin could bring the magic back to these lands. Merlin really hated you Arthur, but he was able to overcome that, and he learned to see who you really are. So many times he had been ready to die for you Arthur; not all because your or his own destiny, but because you are his friend. He believe you, he though you so highly that it goes so beyond everything. And when he though likes that, it comes like this." Gaius looked at Merlin. Arthur closed his eyes. He was out of words. Gaius took his stuffs from Emlyn and started quickly to produce medicine and same time he continued. "Merlin had done so many mistakes, even grave ones, and has cost them highly. He set Kilgharrah free. There is lot of reasons to that; one of them was because he had to save you. Then you went after Balinor and then, he lost his father and inherited his power. But he couldn't kill Kilgharrah. He was lost too much and Kilgharrah was his kin. Both of them are very alike. They both last of their kinds. And Kilgharrah has saved Merlin many times after that day."

"Why Merlin stopped me?" Arthur asked. "That day when my mother…"

"You were ready to kill your own father Arthur. Merlin never wanted to see you coming like your own father. He always wanted you to be more, so much more than Uther. That day Merlin would have reveal everything, but in what price. He didn't want to be new Nimueh. And sometimes, Merlin just is too kind to his own good."

"And no one ever told anything. What my father did… And what I have done…"

Gaius shook his head. "Because Uther showed how far he was ready to go, everyone here was afraid. They still are. Those days… They are long gone but the memory is still alive. And the new generation, they are learned to hate or fear Camelot and its King."

"I'm not my father!"

"No. But there is still the law, and you are the law. Most of the people in this town know you Arthur. But outside of these walls, there is lot more people. They just see you faraway, hear some rumours. They experience everything through other nobbles and knights. Your public image is good, but you still are your father's son front of many people. You still have long walk ahead, although you do good job." Gwaine snorted. Arthur looked the knight.

"Maybe you should tell the rest now."

"Not satisfied yet? You are still ready to leave Merlin in this cold floor?"

"I want the whole truth," Arthur tried to stay calm. He was still angry, even more angry than before. But he couldn't say was he actually angry to Merlin or to his dead father or to this whole stupid situation. "I want to know what Morgana was doing here, and what she said about Merlin… I want to know. You just have to tell everything."

"You really are bastard sometimes, _your majesty_."

Arthur flinched. "Get over it Gwaine." They stared each other and finally Gwaine gave up. He sighed and Arthur felt relief. If Gwaine would have given up, Arthur would probably take back his decision.

"Right, so, I saw that dragon, Kilgharrah…"

* * *

_**Thank you for your reviews. Because of those I still keep going on :)**_


	6. When Gaius can't do anything

"Kilgharrah; meet Gwaine. Gwaine, this is Kilgharrah."

Gwaine opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Are you alright Gwaine?" Merlin asked, obviously amused. Gwaine got his voice back. "It's a dragon. Merlin, it's a bloody _dragon_!"

"I'm well aware that I'm a dragon and you are the knight of Camelot." Kilgharrah spoke looking at Gwaine with hint of amusement.

"And its speak." Gwaine noted. Kilgharrah turned to watch Merlin who withdrew from Gwaine's hold and stepped forward. He bowed politely. "I'm glad you came."

"And you young one, I see that you have got yourself in the problems again." Kilgharrah tone was admonishing. Gwaine wanted to reach his hand and grab Merlin back beside of him, but he was afraid what the dragon would do then.

"We met Morgana. I think he had gone and done some sort of contract with the Grey King."

Kilgharrah growled and made Gwaine to flinch. "She is a fool if she had done so. The Grey King is the cunning creature what I know and what ever he does, the goal is on his own benefit."

"We have always knew that Morgana will make what ever its take to revenge."

"I don't understand. Uther is dead; he was the only one to blame. She would be one of the greatest witches on these lands if she wants. She could be a high priestess of old Religion. A seer what could protect the whole Albion. Stand by her brother's side."

"The hate is blinded her. She took a wrong turn. And it's also my fault." Merlin sounded disappointed.

"How that can be?" Gwaine asked, not fully understanding what was going on.

"I tried to help her. I knew her magic, when she was still weak. But Morgause came along and all went wrong. And she didn't want to believe me. I made some mistakes, I though…"

"Let that be Merlin. Now she is your enemy, and looks like she tried to kill you again. Come closer, I heal you. I assume that you want to ride." Kilgharrah interrupted him.

"We would value it." Merlin stepped right under the dragon's nose and Kilgharrah lowered his head. They touched, Merlin's hand dragon's snout.

"We? You mean you and that knight? I would take you but…"

"Do I have to command you?" Merlin's voice was weak, but Gwaine could hear how serious he was.

"You are my Lord, if you command I do what you want." Kilgharrah answered and Merlin sighed.

"I don't want to command you, so I just ask; will you take us to Camelot?"

"Can I ever deny, even when you just ask." Kilgharrah murmured and breathed out. The warmness surrounded them. For a moment Gwaine though that the rain was stopped, but it was just a dragon's breathe what burned the water away.

"Much better, thank you my friend." Merlin thanked and Kilgharrah snorted. "You are as much of fool that Morgana. You don't think enough for your own good."

"Merlin? Are you alright?" Gwaine asked, watching how Merlin took deep breath and he shaped up.

"Dragon's breath can burn, or heal." Merlin answered. Kilgharrah moved angrily behind him.

"You are not well yet. You should rest or the consequences can be bad."

"I can't rest, not now." Merlin snapped and Kilgharrah snorted again.

"I know that, but I have warned you. Promise me, you rest when you can." The dragon demanded.

"I do that. Now, we are hurry. Take us to near the Camelot. Or, if you can locate that witch…"

"Gladly." Kilgharrah's grin made chills go through Gwaine's back.

"Is this really good idea?" He asked.

"Absolutely. You love it." Merlin grinned and so they ride with the dragon.

#

"And so we ride with the dragon, over the clouds." Gwaine stopped and took deep breath. "I have ever, _ever_ been afraid so much. And Merlin, he just laughed. He _loves_ it. He really loves to be there, high in the sky, being free and feel the wind. And I, I _hate_ it. Never again. _Never_." Gwaine said and Arthur could see the fear when the knight though the fly.

"His breathing is slowed down." Gaius said suddenly.

"What?" They turned to watch Merlin and Gaius who was leaning over his ward. "Merlin, can you hear me?"

"Gaius, what is happening?" Arthur demanded to know but Gaius didn't answer. He was rubbing Merlin's chest.

"Oh gods, Merlin, you have to breath. Emlyn! Make the mixture. Little bit of belladonna and…

"Gaius!"

"Let him do his work." Gwaine stopped Arthur and suddenly Gwen was holding her husband.

"Drink it Merlin, you have to drink it and breath. He is burning. The medicine what I made to work with the fever down, it isn't working. Emlyn, give me that bottle. Hurry!"

Then suddenly Merlin's eyes opened and he grabbed Gaius' hand and drew him closer. Everyone startled.

"Gaius…" Merlin looked his mentor, his hand purist Gaius hand painfully, but Gaius didn't felt it. "It will be… alrigh… I… promise…"

"Merlin…"

But Merlin's eyes closed, his mouth snapped shut with pain and he convulsed. Gaius tried to hold him when Merlin suddenly stopped and slumped limp.

"Merlin? No, no, don't do this to me." Gaius cried, shaking Merlin, but the young man was still. Too still and his weight drew Gaius with him.

It took several seconds, maybe even minutes, before anyone moved.

"Gaius?" Gwen kneeled other side of Merlin and Gaius shook his head, not looking his queen, his eyes locked on Merlin. "I couldn't do anything for him. I couldn't…"

Gwen felt tears flowing out when she touched Merlin. Suddenly he felt so cold. She tried to find pulse. Nothing; there was nothing.

"Is he… Is he dead?" Gwaine asked. His voice so tiny middle of the crowd whose barely dared to breathe.

"Yes. He is dead." Gaius answered and lowered his head on Merlin's chest crying. Arthur stumbled up.

"Arthur?" Gwen looked him worriedly.

"I killed him. I killed him." Arthur muttered and turned. He watched the people around them. "Out! Get out of here! Everyone! OUT!"

* * *

_Why I always end up to kill Merlin?_


	7. When we meet the Emrys

_Yeah, but I have some serious problems with my computer I haven't been able to write anything. Sorry._

* * *

"OUT!"

The expression of their king's face told everyone that he was deathly serious, so all of them left. Whispering they escaped. All, except Arthur's closest friends. They looked at how Arthur stood rooted to the spot, trembling all over.

"Arthur ..." Gwen tried but when Arthur turns to look at his wife, she took a step back.

"Not a word Guinevere, do not say anything. Gwaine, I want to hear the rest. Now."

Gwaine who still sat beside of Merlin, not lifted his eyes to his king, but nodded. "I'll tell you." Gwaine raised his hand and closed Merlin's eyes.

"We found, or do I say Kilgharrah, found Morgana's trail…."

#

"_We found Morgana's trail next evening, near the Camelot of course…"_

"She had been here." Kilgharrah murmured, sniffing. "I never forgot that witch's smell."

"Can you say what way she took?" Gwaine asked. He looked miserably. They were wet and cold and the rain just continued.

"She is heading to the Camelot, like you said, but not the most direct route. I do not take you this further. Rain has protected us well, but I think that it is better that I don't come closer. Turn to the east, I'm sure that you are able to sense him if you just want to Merlin. "Kilgharrah grunted and spread his wings.

"Thank you!" Merlin yelled after him and for the last time Kilgharrah turned to watch them.

"Be careful, both of you!"

Gwaine studied Merlin who was closed his eyes.

"So?"

"Yes, I think I can actually sense her." Merlin looked glad and opened his eyes again.

"Handy." Gwaine muttered.

"Maybe. Come on."

"Wait a bit!"

Merlin turned. "What? We have to hurry."

"And Kilgharrah warned us that you are not well enough yet. We should go to Camelot and at least…"

"No we can't. We have no time. You can…"

"Oh no you don't leave me behind and go on your own." Gwaine refused. "I'll follow you if you are sure that you can…"

"Just come on." Merlin walked forward and Gwaine sighed. "I know you are stubborn, but this go over it. You are no good if you become worse ill. And your eyes ..."

Merlin turned and was suddenly face to face with Gwaine. "Stop it Gwaine. If you're not going to go Camelot, stop that."

They watched each other and Gwaine though who was this man? His friend? Did he even knew this man anymore? Those eyes, even the blind one… Gwaine stepped back.

"Merlin, please…"

Merlin stepped closer and took Gwaine's face between his palms. "Gwaine, listen me." Their foreheads touched. "Listen, please. What ever happens, trust me. I know what I'm doing. I will protect Camelot. I will protect Arthur and all of my friends. I will protect you. Trust me that I do the right choices."

"But who will protect you Merlin?"

"No one can." Merlin smiled sadly. How defeated Merlin sounded, when he close his eyes and Gwaine stared at him. He grabbed Merlin's shoulders. "For better or worse, right?"

Merlin sighed and released the grip. He seemed calm and peaceful again. Gwaine envied his friend's confidence. Merlin knew what he was doing and didn't hesitated. No, even if it costs him his life. For a moment Gwaine wondered whether Lancelot saw the same. Perhaps. Question shaped on his lips, but he did not ask it. He was afraid of what would be the answer. So, he just followed Merlin when he found the way.

#

"And we found Morgana. And we were almost too late." Gwaine said tiredly.

Arthur looked the great hall and the destruction. He was now sitting on the stairs of his throne, listening. His hate and anger was gone. He just was. Empty.

"She was there where you pulled out that sword. With some others; with two other sorcerers. Merlin and I just rushed forward. I saw how Morgana turned and was stunned to see us."

"_Stop this Morgana!"_

"_How you can be here?"_

"_You can't break me down so easily. What kind of contract you have done with the Grey King?"_

"Oh how surprised she looked. It was just marvellous. He just blurted that out and there she was, out of words." Gwaine giggled but then his eyes lowered back to Merlin and he fall in silence.

Arthur though did he actually wanted to hear anymore of this.

He watched Merlin, lying on the cold floor.

All because of him, Arthur Pendragon.

And Morgana was escaped, again.

"'_I'm always surprised how much you know. What is your secret Merlin?'_ Morgana asked and I eyed the two other behind of her. Merlin was completely focused on Morgana." Gwaine rose and walked toward the round table what was now broke. He was standing in front of it, staring at it.

" '_Emrys, he is Emrys.'_ Other one said and Morgana started to laugh. And just then I know how mad she is." Gwaine touched the table, his hand shaking.

"Emrys…"


	8. When the king miss his friend

"Emrys?" Gwaine looked confused, watching how Morgana laughed.

"Emrys? Are you serious?" She turned to look her companies. They looked deathly serious and again Morgana turned to watch Merlin. "You can't be Emrys. Emrys is an old man with a white beard who ran all over Camelot trying to save everyone!"

"Oh, that one. I remember him." Gwaine grinned.

"Oh yeah, you knights were big help." Merlin huffed and Gwaine turned to look his friend. "Yes, it was me Gwaine. Little aging spell, nothing more."

The silence was heavy.

"You?" Morgana asked her eyes locked at Merlin who looked suddenly tired again. He didn't answer. "It explains a lot." Morgana mused and walked toward Merlin. Gwaine could see that there wasn't anything or anyone to them; they were lost in their own little world. World of hate.

"And once, I trusted you." Morgana sighed. "If you have told me then…"

"I didn't know you back then; I didn't know who to trust. Not then. And, then Morgause used you and I have to make my decision. You or Arthur."

"And of course your choice was Arthur."

"Of course it was. It always will be. He's my responsibility."

"And how he treats you and you take it all…"

"It doesn't matter to me."

"You are willingly sacrificing yourself to that prat."

Merlin smiled, reached his hand out and touched Morgana's cheek. Morgana leaned against it and closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Morgana. When I met you, I though that someday…"

"Me too. But it's gone now, isn't it. Our… love. We make our choices."

"And we fell apart. You took the way of revenge…"

"And you choose the forgiveness."

"It's never too late to chance…"

"Yes it is. To me, it is." And Morgana stepped back, their eyes still locked, never leaving.

"So, this is it? You, fighting for your king. Me…"

"Morgana, please, I don't want to…"

"But you have to stop me. Gisel, Lynia." Morgana turned on her heels fast and the two witches behind her were ready.

So was Merlin.

Gwaine felt how the air escaped from his lungs. He fly backward when the wave of magic hit him. Then there was nothing.

#

"And I woke up this morning." Gwaine sighed, watching Merlin's still body. "Merlin was exhausted. He didn't explained much. Just that the fight had gone rough that he had succeeded to push Morgana out of Camelot's borders. Move her somewhere, but that she would be back. And he had also lost his conscious after that."

"Morgana, but… what those two other." Arthur asked, fully knowing what he would hear, but asking anyway. Gwaine blinked and eyed the king.

"You can found their body out there."

Arthur nodded. He took his cloak and put it on Merlin, wrapping him on the Camelot's colours. Red. Red like a blood. Why he had to be so proud all the time? Why he didn't realized what and who Merlin was? He felt how his heart hardened. Without Merlin he knew that he would turn as his father. Cold and distant. Guinevere was sitting other side of Merlin, crying silently. Had he lost her now? Now that Merlin was gone there was only Guinevere, and if she was going to turn her back to him, everything would be gone.

"And then…" Arthur asked and Gwaine grimaced.

"I remembered what day today was. That Annis would be here. And we came, and you know what happened next."

And Arthur knew.

#

Arthur missed Merlin's presence. Every time when his friend was away, there was a hole somewhere behind of him, or his side. Other side was Guinevere, his loved wife, who was as wise as any Queen would be, who he loved so much that it hurt. But Merlin was his other half, more like a soul mate. It was frightening idea, but sometime ago Arthur was actually realized that without Merlin he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't be the king what he was now. And when Merlin was gone, Arthur was afraid that that clumsy man would be dying. And now Merlin was with Gwaine what didn't make him feel relief.

Standing there with Annis, signing the papers, almost all the Camelot's nobles there, he felt bit of agony. Like something was wrong. His eyes narrowed his knights, Annis' party, and the nobles. Nothing. Just Merlin and Gwaine weren't there. He hid his sigh.

"With this contract we are going to…" Arthur started when Annis looked him.

"You are going nothing!"

The words came from the throne and they turned to look. Arthur watched his sister who was pale like a snow, her raven hair with a mess. Eyes hard and cold.

"Morgana."

"My dear brother." Morgana snarled and stood. Everyone's swords were out but a blink of eye Morgana was raised her hand and every sword was lying on the ground and no one couldn't raise them. "Tsk tsk. Is this how you treat you Queen?"

"You are not a Queen." Guinevere spoke.

"Oh, you have got some back bones I see. How's it Gwen? Being side of the man whose father killed yours. Who killed so many. And Arthur… Yes, Arthur too. So afraid of magic and he don't know!" Morgana burst out laughing. "And I see that he isn't here yet. How is that? Or is he hiding somewhere?" Morgana walked closer, the people giving way to her.

"What…"

"Merlin!" Morgana screamed looking around. Arthur startled. "Merlin? He isn't…"

"Oh, then he's nearby. That annoying man. So, I just have to kill you and then I go after him." Again Morgana's hand rose and this time Arthur drew his sword.

"Oh no you don't!" Someone yelled and something fly through the air, hitting Morgana's head so that she fell.

Everyone turned to look at the door.

It was Merlin.

* * *

Thinking; whose point of view I make next time.


End file.
